Monday, January 17, 2011

Due Season is Now

I'm four days in bed following reconstructive foot and ankle surgery.  It's the second operation, different foot.  Rods, pins and screws reshape a foot struck by a drop foot deformity most likely (I believe) by two severe ankle injuries that caused peroneal nerve damage. I've wanted to write for a long time, but a woman I work with always said in due season. "You write when you are healed," she'd say. I'm not sure why I listened to her for so long, after all, I'm a writer, but this ordeal of gradually losing by ability to walk, my public falls, fracturing my tail bone twice, aniexty and depression affected me deeply.  I needed a platform, so here I am, blogging. I don't know the outcome of how both feet will respond to these surgeries--I'll keep you posted.  My surgeon's goal: get me walking again, balanced and stable. One thing is for sure, I've had to direct my healing along the way.  And it's been a very long journey.


Anotole Broyard once wrote, “Storytelling seems to be a natural reaction to illness…Stories are antibodies against illness and pain.”  Once you hear that you are ill, story emerges with an unwavering grip in your gut that you need more answers, reasons and questions as to why this is happening now.  I have been to numerous doctors, specialists,and health care providers to determine why I lost my ability to walk balanced and stable.  I push every day to examine my health, and how best to arrest what once assaulted my body.  My strike back has been fierce, taking every bit of energy I can muster to swing back.

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